As Christians we have a call to serve and to be ambassadors for Christ. Yet it is very easy to get over-committed with good things. We aren’t the whole body of Christ, we’re just a part. So we don’t have to try and do everything someone asks us to.
On any given issue it is helpful to think of what God would want vs. what Satan would want. Who would want you to over-commit such that your family and service endeavors suffer? Satan.
I remember hearing of one pastor who told God, “You take care of my flock [the pastor's family] and I’ll take care of yours [the congregation].” There was a problem with this one-sided deal: God didn’t agree to it. The man’s family suffered mightily.
I know a man who has done tremendous things in lay ministry, yet he is on his 3rd marriage (and concedes that the devotion to his favorite ministry was at the root of the problems). This is not God’s plan. We must take care of our families first, regardless of the ministry opportunities.
I try to be very surgical yet proactive in volunteering and giving. I have found activities that are a good fit with my gifts and talents and my family’s schedule. Kairos prison ministry activities, CareNet Board meetings and classes, and other commitments typically take place when my daughters are at ballet lessons, and I ensure that I have plenty of time to spend with my wife. And we found one ministry the whole family can do together – taking our dogs to a nursing home to visit the residents once a month.
I find it helpful to have some catch phrases handy when asked to do something that would mean over-committing, such as, “My volunteer schedule is completely full, so I can’t commit to that.” Practice saying no if you need to.
On the other hand, if you aren’t putting your gifts and talents to good use for the kingdom, you may be on the other end of the spectrum and need to practice saying yes. Have you been intentional about finding good places to serve? When in doubt, just try something and see if it is a good fit.
You don’t necessarily have to do something associated with your more obvious talents. I’m a CPA, but when asked to be on the finance committee once I said, “Uh, sorry but I’m not that strong with numbers.” Then I explained in seriousness that I get plenty of that during the week and am confident that other committee members can do a fine job. On the other hand, a friend who is a CPA is really excited about getting on the finance committee.
How do you keep things in balance? Or if they aren’t in balance, what are you going to do to get there?
Filed under: Christian living | Tagged: Bible, Christian, Giving, God, religion, Satan, serving
“We aren’t the whole body of Christ, we’re just a part. ”
Amen to that. I try to do this with everything. Put me in a group and 99% of the time I will do all the work and take charge.
i don’t say no very well either. i have had to do so more. especially during the school year (i homeschool). when i do volunteer, i usually end up in charge. i don’t know why, it just happens. i can be a little pushy, i’m working on it.
kw
Neil,
great points and I’m hoping some new christians are reading this post and blog.
When I first joined my protestant church, I wanted to do everything. I wanted to be in the Sunday class, the children ministry, the homeless one, help paint, etc , etc. I would even get jealous when others seemed busier at church than me.
Since those days, I’ve learned my lesson. Nowadays, I attend Sunday Adult classes, and help out here and there whenever possible…
My daughter gave my wife a present for Mother’s Day. It was a coffee cup on which was printed: “Note to self: Stop volunteering.”
My wife sometimes complains that she’s always at church. It gets so worship is sometimes overlooked. She is our wedding co-ordinator, she chairs the annual Ham Supper (Yum), she runs the kitchen during the annual Flea Mkt and Craft Fair, and she shares Sunday School chores. She recently stepped down from our Board of Christian Ed.
For myself, I am currently in the Choir (now off season), I chair the Board of Elders and am Church Council President. I once was asked to help out with a duty regarding the Flea Mkt and it became MY JOB!!! One gets volunteered easily in my church. Trouble is, I don’t like this denomination (UCC), but I like the people here. It’s also a very small congregation and it seems if the same people aren’t taking care of business, business doesn’t get taken care of. To say “No” can literally be crippling, but it is still getting easier to do.
I love the note on the mug!
Wow, sounds like you two run that place. What is your sermon on tomorrow?
I’m glad you are a voice of reason in the UCC. I struggle with being a Methodist. I’ve recounted this on other posts, but while our leaders are very good now it needs maturing (recovery from a series of bad pastors). And there are Methodist churches around the country that I wouldn’t send my dogs to (they are non-denominational anyway).